Thrift Store Excitement

Back in high school, I lived at local thrift stores and owned pretty much every tight-fitting t-shirt made to look like a jersey in the county. (Did I play soccer for the Westland YMCA? No, but I had a shirt for it!) As I outgrew my shirts (due to my emo kid phase fading and packing on some pounds) I went to thrift stores less and less, especially when they closed this massive one two miles from my house. Lord have mercy the day I went up there and it was closed. I swore up a STORM.

Fast forward to today. I decided to eat my feelings and they tasted just like Wendy's spicy chicken fillets and a chocolate Frosty. Across the parking lot from Wendy's is a thrift store so, for the hell of it, I decided to venture over there. My discoveries/revelations:

1) A thrift store is like a garage sale all year around except it smells like a grandma attic. It's the whole one-man's-trash-is-another's-treasure. At these bad boys, you have to do a LOT of digging to find some kind of treasure.

2) There are no fitting rooms, which sucks because I would like to try on pants before I buy them. I found a pair of black pants so I put them on over my current pants. Taking into consideration what I was wearing, the waist was too tight even though everything else fit fine. Lame. I know it's because they don't want poor folks stuffing their purses with old shirts in the back. However, if they had one of those people that does nothing but wander the back and organize approximately one rack per hour attend a fitting room, they would be all set. I know it would have been five bucks on a pair of Express black pants that usually run for about a third of my measly paycheck, but it's five bucks I won't be able to spend on, say, more Wendy's.

3) Some of the ugliest shit clothes known to man exists there. I actually found a pair of jelly shoes made to look like Chuck Taylors. What the fuck.

4) Bras and underpants should be burned. Not sold. Period. I don't care how many times you wash and bleach it. Someone else's vag was on those panties. Delicious.

5) Nothing is in size order EVER. I don't have time to sift through 400 pairs of acid wash jeans to find the one possible pair from American Eagle that's a size 00.

6) Electronics = bad news. "Yeah I got my VCR from the thrift store." If someone says this, immediately end all contact with them. No one owns a VCR anymore and if they were so desperate for entertainment that they actually bought one, they're desperate for your friendship. Stay away.

Okay. So there was one thing I did purchase. They have the used CDs up front for 1.99. Why not. I'm browsing doo doo doo doo OH MY GOD. I found the original soundtrack from When Harry Met Sally... "Featuring Eleven Performances by Harry Connick Jr!!!!!" My favorite movie combined with a fabulous jazz soundtrack for 1.99 plus 25% off because it's some random sale. Today was a good day.