Bangs On Board

I added the disclaimer about my blog at the beginning, the 'adult content' thing. Because while I don't have my naked photos up yet (and if you're waiting for them, don't hold your breath), I figure I say enough 'shit' and 'fuck' that my blog would be rated 'R'.

But yes. How could I have forgotten? Oh that's right, I'm blocking it out of my head.
Bangs is currently in driver's training.
My parents have put it off for as long as possible for a couple of reasons.
1) I'm still on their insurance (thank God). However, because I'm under 25, they didn't really want to pay to put another 25 and under person on the insurance.
2) Mom, Dad and myself have our own vehicles. Bangs does not nor will she probably be getting her own for quite some time. Before I got my Focus, I drove my dad's 1990 Aerostar (rest in peace, lovely vehicle). My dad's a pretty easygoing guy. My mom? Not so much. And Mommy doesn't like to share, especially her prized 1997 Aerostar.
3) No one trusts Bangs with their life, let alone their vehicle. Definitely not with my dad's 2004 Taurus and my 2002 FoFo. Not even the almost 12 year old van. This is the same girl who went through three CD players in a five year span, broke her iPod six months in, bounced her laptop off of her bed and crashed my desktop computer a month after I gave it to her.
Side note: the second Bangs tries to drive my vehicle, I'm stuffing cheese under my seat. I don't mind smells and can drive with rotting food on wheels. I have for four years.
4) My parents used it as bait for as long as they could. "If you do this, we'll let you take driver's training." Not effective parenting. They gave into 'But all my other friends drive. I can't help it that I have a late birthday.' They have no spine.
5) None of us, knock on wood, have been in very serious accidents. My mom's backed into her share of cars and I got rear-ended last year which resulted in a new bumper (and a permanent crick in my neck...should probably get that checked out). Bangs is an accident waiting to happen. Zero focus. And a glorious new cell phone with all-you-can-talk-and-text. Those new additions to cars they make for kids who want to talk on their phones and drive real fast? Made for girls like Bangs. I drive like my dad, obedient of the speed limit and cautious. I can see Bangs driving like my mom, who has had more tickets than my dad and I combined (my dad ran a stop sign, I fought my speeding ticket for impeding traffic, my mom...I think she's the real reason the insurance is so high). And that's some scary shit.

I can't fathom that thought: Bangs is driving. She's in a car, behind the wheel, driving in a neighborhood. I feel like they should be warned. "Keep your kids in the backyard today. Bangs is loose!" The first time I drive in the car with her behind the wheel, I'm wearing a helmet. I am not joking...I am not going through a windshield on account of her stopping too hard.

P.S. My name for my disease on Pandemic? Bangs. That's lol-worthy.