The Hot Single Catholics Club

Sarah and I knew each other beforehand but really became close this summer when we both worked as orientation leaders. She's the same age as me, rocking out the five year plan with me and we're both in education. I've tried to get her to join the sorority but she won't because, well, she's student teaching next semester. (Lame.) Anyway, another thing we have in common is our collective lack of game. I am a couple of steps ahead considering how I have been in a couple of long-term relationships, ranging from five months to two years. And in the point game (one point for making out, two points for in between and three points for home runs), I have about 22 (V-card intact, holler holler) and she's, well, not at 22.

Regardless, it came to her attention this week that she's becoming her cousin, a single woman approaching her 40s, with a gay guy as her best friend. Sarah's guy friend made a crack about how great of a surrogate she'd be. You know what pisses me off about the surrogate thing? The fact that they do the in-vitro stuff. It's like 'Really?' It has a 20% success rate. Why spend the money when you could just stick it in? Like put a sheet over her, cut a hole out, no one talks, boom goes the dynamite, see you in nine.

So we were thinking about starting a club, the Hot Single Catholics Club. We would attract only hot single Catholics. No 35 year old nerd living in Mom's basement, unless he's hot. (If that were the case I'd still be weary because there would definitely be something wrong with him regardless of the hotness.) But then if it works out and we're not hot single Catholics anymore, who will run the club? If anything, I'd monitor the hot single Catholics getting in, but I wouldn't be president and let's be honest, I don't trust anyone enough with such a great idea.