Project Runway and Cougars

"Project Runway" finale pissed me off. Leanne won, with her non stop waves-that-look-like-petals-inspired clothes and mini palate of white, khaki and turquoise. Way to go, Martha Stewart. Whatever. Tim Gunn is still the love of my life. If he wants to pull a Clay Aiken on me to bear his children, no problem at all.

I have no life, seriously. Maybe it's just avoiding homework and writing lesson plans for shit I never plan on doing in my class. Or maybe that I need to be multi-tasking at all times so my brain doesn't fall asleep. So I decided to urbandictionary 'Cougar'. I knew what it meant but I love urbandictionary more than a real dictionary. "The origin of the word is Latin, meaning blablabla" I don't give a shit and no one really does unless they're in a spelling bee and they need to stall.

"An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity, particularly the true hotties, as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together."

A majority of my male friends have taken cougar to the next level by incorporating it into everything women-related. Cougar, Cougar Hunter, Cougar in Training, Phi Cougar Cougar. But it's not just cougar. Urbandictionary has expanded incorporating every name of a cougar-type cat into a different type of woman hunting a younger man.

The 'Wildcat Women'

Bobcat - 20s

Puma - 30s
Cougar - 40s
Mountain Lion - Ugly lady in her 40s, opposite of Cougar
(Side note: All three are the same animal? Really? I'm so fucking confused.)

Jaguar - 50+ (I'm guessing because old women have more liver spots.)

Manther - Sugar-Daddy, male equivalent of a cougar

(Best couple costume ever, next to the Spartan Cheerleaders from SNL.)

Apparently this is a whole subculture that's just emerging: older women wanting younger guys. And you know what? I'm sure I'm becoming a bobcat. I've really been all about the 20 year old guys as of late. I guess it's because I can hang out with them and then go to a bar without having to worry about them following me. Or because I'm immature and thinking 'Maybe I'm not ready for marriage yet.' Or maybe it's because the younger guys that keep coming to my school keep getting hotter. Either way...meow.