Pet Peeves - Harvest Moon and Bad Christmas Songs

Tis this season. Not really. It's pre-Turkey so it's not. And I still have a shit ton of assignments due. But you know what's amazing? Doing homework buzzed. Drink while doing your homework, seriously, it makes it so much better.

Side note: Do not purchase Harvest Moon beer. I love Blue Moon, such a delicious beer treat. HOWEVER. Harvest Moon is a pumpkin ale. It is DISGUSTING. The aftertaste is miserable. And I already hate pumpkin stuff so pumpkin beer was even worse.

Either way, I've been tuned into Christmas music for three weeks and I'm already like 'Shit I don't want to hear that song again.' For every 'O Holy Night' by Josh Groban, there's a 'The Magic of Christmas Day' by Celine Dion. 'O Holy Night', holy crap, I will listen to it so loud, not sing along (because singing along ruins EVERYTHING) and get a little misty every time. When he's like 'NoEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL'? A-fucking-mazing.

Number one least favorite Christmas song: 'The Magic of Christmas Day' by Celine Dion. Dear Celine, STFU. You just needs to stop. Your greatest hits album came out. We loved that. 'Power of Love', hell yeah, I'll sing it. But end it now, fool. Sincerely, Earth.

Agree with me, don't agree with me, I don't care. I'm probably missing a shit ton of horrible Christmas songs but I haven't been listening to the 24 hour Christmas station enough to pick up all the shit stinking up the airwaves.

2) That Band-Aid song 'Do they know it's Christmas time at all?' Well, no, they don't in Africa. They're indigenous and, unless they were invaded and missionary-ized, they don't believe in Jesus. Way to go, guys! And it's all the random British singers in the mid-80s singing one line. I hate that, when singers get together and all want to sing a line of a song, but it makes the song sound like an elementary school Christmas show. You know, when everyone got a solo because it's 'fair' or something. Gross.

3) 'Baby It's Cold Outside' by Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. I'm not a huge fan of the song. It's not really Christmas-y, but rather 'It's cold outside. Don't leave yet, stay here and blow me'. This version, however, makes me mad. Jessica sounds like she inhaled a tank of helium and thus can't keep in tune. And when I hear it, it reminds me of how they broke up, which makes me even more mad.

4) 'Wonderful Christmas Time'. I thought it was by the Beatles, until about 45 minutes ago when I looked online that it's only by Paul McCartney (arguably the most successful of the Beatles post-Beatles). Regardless, it's super synthesized and I'm sure the only lyrics are 'Simply having a wonderful Christmas time!' over and over and over again. Sounds like something you'd want to listen to while drunk as fuck at a holiday party.

5) 'Santa Baby'. I love this song, to be perfectly honest. I was in somewhat of a debate of 'Baby It's Cold Outside' vs. 'Santa Baby'. Sex versus Buy Me A Ton Of Shit. Eartha Kitt wants EVERYTHING. A convertible, a yacht, Tiffany's stuff, a ring, a deed to a platinum mine...really? Way to be a spoiled brat. I love it in all its horribleness.

Throughout the holiday season, as my Christmas music listening expands, I'll interject more along the way. Happy holidays...no. Merry CHRISTMAS. I don't celebrate the other ones.