Christmas Part Two

Christmas is a couple days away and I must say I'm pretty excited. My North Face came in so before my mom wrapped it I got a chance to try it on. It's so sweet. And it matches my AE boots...damn I'm so sorority. I have the swagger of the stereotypical sorority girl. What I worked so hard to be against is now me. Ugh.

Anyway, I have been overly rude to people who sing along with Christmas songs. I mean, 'Jingle Bells', whatever, go ahead and sound like an elementary school concert for all I care. But when you attempt to belt out 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' and you're crackling/sounding like hell/failing at life with your voice, I get pissed. My coworker was singing and I was like "Gosh you know what I love? I just love it when people sing along to songs because then it sounds TWICE as good." She promptly stopped and I regained sanity.

I finally finished my Christmas shopping today. You know what's annoying? Everyone. Children screaming about toys. And the fact that I won't have money to do anything because I spent it all on gifts. But as long as everyone is happy, that is what's important...or something.

So I did it. I fucking did it. I discovered the worst Christmas song ever. It was a song I had not heard until I started working at the restaurant and have heard it pretty much every year since then. Usually blocked out of mind, it was on the satellite radio thing that we have and I immediately went 'Ohhhh...fuck.' Please go to the iTunes store and type in 'Hey Santa' by Carnie Wilson and Wendy Wilson. Listen to the 30 second clip and if you haven't experienced extreme nausea or a stroke from this song, you will ultimately survive the bird flu.

In searching for this piece of shit song, I discovered many interesting tidbits as I tend to do on the iTunes store.
1) Carnie & Wendy Wilson have a whole Christmas album, entitled 'Hey Santa'. That's their FUCKING album name. Why. Why. Why.
2) Someone actually made a review for this album. It simply says "One of the all-time great Christmas songs." This was clearly written by a man with special needs because, last time I checked, Hey Santa is not in the same caliber as 'Holly Jolly Christmas', 'Jingle Bell Rock' or any of the Jesus Christmas songs sung at church.
3) Ashanti has a Christmas album. She also has a song called Hey Santa. I didn't bother to listen to it because I didn't feel like vomiting blood. Next year my rectum will be coming out with a Christmas album entitled 'Phffhfthfhrfhtfhthft.' Look for it in stores.
4) I despise country. However, Martina McBride should sing every Christmas song ever and record a 9 disc set. I would totally buy it. I definitely need to get on purchasing her one disc Christmas album.

Also, clouds took the biggest dump of snow in the area a couple days ago. My FoFo has been extremely badass in the snow. Except for when this fucking old lady and her wheely cart was going about .00002 miles an hour and I got stuck in the end-of-street mound of snow. Thus I had to use my own momentum and rock my car back and forth while pressing on the gas. Only in a Focus.

Oh yeah, and here's my bf Dave, aka The Beav. I call him The Beav (or simply Beav) because for some reason I thought he resembled both Theodore Cleaver and Mr. Beaver from the new The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe...he's a good sport.