Text Message Arguments from a High School Bathroom Stall

Verbatim from texts, you know the drill.

Bangs - Are you home
Me - Why?
Bangs - Because...are you.
Me - Maybe
Bangs - Oh my god. Seriously.
Me - yes im home. whats up?
(Side note: I'm totally at work right now.)
Bangs - I got sick.
Me - what do you mean?
Bangs - Tell mom to come get me..i was dry heaving because i didn't eat anything to puke up
Me - dude youre fine. you only have one day left. youre probably nervous about whatever.
Bangs - Tell mom or I will call her myself. What the hell would i be nervous about. I havnt felt good since last night and i have diareha
(At this point I called my mom and she was like 'Sorry, tell her I said no.')
Me - mom said no. sorry.
Bangs - Fuck you guys. Seriously. I could be bleeding out my eye balls and u would say im fine.
Me - you can rest when you get home and can sleep for ten days.
Bangs - I wont slee when i come home..i dont want to sit at school in the bathroom because im pooping or gagging.
Me - well im sorry. mom said no. go back to class.
Bangs - Whatever. Your not sorry im gonna laugh in ur face when something is wrong with me and i get everyone sick and you are all like fghggbh im sorry

I love my life.