Stuff White Boyfriends Do

I love Stuff White People Like. Why? Because I love being white, other white people and celebrating the fact that I am white. I also like it because I can relate to some of it and am just like 'Oh yeah I totally know people like that.' It's hilarious and well-written and the guy has a book.

I've also further solidified that Dave is much much whiter than I am. I've known this for quite some time. That's why I like him, because the view from Lower-middle-class-my-dad-still-works-in-the-auto-industry-blue-collar-ville makes Dave's upper middle class lifestyle very savory. I mean, come on, his parents own wine glasses from a wine tasting they went to...IN NEW ENGLAND! I can assume his mother makes more than both of my folks did when they both worked combined (and she's a teacher). He lives in a pretty classy neighborhood. He always has a dazzling array of deli meats, whereas if you were to peek into my fridge, you would notice that my bologna has a first name AND a last name. His uncle moved to Vermont after getting a degree in Environmental Studies (or Environmental Science...I can never keep those two straight). The neighbors across the street own three cars and only two of the house residents are of legal driving age (the next oldest will be in approximately 12 years). He loves Apple products way more than I do (I'm typing this on my 600 dollar Dell).

However I own a North Face (I think he owns Columbia...GROSS), I want to learn Italian (via the knock-off Rosetta Stone I saw at Best Buy for 50 bucks!!!) and I really do love going to plays, even though I haven't gone since I was required to do so in my Introduction to Humanities course. But we have no problem with yelling about how evil Wal Mart is to Dave's mom, commenting how much we like Flight of the Conchords even though we've collectively seen five episodes, sipping on wine (we have our own favorite Chianti), watching Wes Anderson movies or riding our bicycles (excuse me, both of us riding Dave's bicycles...told you he was super white).

I hate the fact that, when I do something nice, she says 'That was nice of you.' Like how my parents' friend fixed up my car, when he came over, I said 'Thank you so much, I love how my car runs now'. She immediately follows with 'That was very nice of you.' Like I'm five and I was told to thank the kind lady for the cookie she gave me.

Whoever said you can't work during student teaching is not in touch with reality. I would like my school to call my credit card company, as well as my parents, and tell them I won't be paying my bills for the next four months. Go ahead, School of Education. I DARE YOU.

Two years after everyone else did, my nagging curiosity led me to find and finally view 2 Girls 1 Cup. I really could have gone my whole life without seeing that. I think my burning retinas do as well.