Anti-Pet Peeve - The Big Box Meal from Taco Bell

My first memories of Taco Bell were the '59, 79, 99' promotions. I would say this was around the early 90s, when they had stuff on the menu that was 59, 79 or 99 cents. Of course, this morphed into the Value Menu at every fast food joint. Nowadays the only things you can get that are 59 cents are bacon on your three dollar sandwich or an extra side of ranch to go with your four dollar chicken strips.

In my last two years of high school, my best friend Jake and I went to Taco Bell almost every day. I played basketball in the fall and soccer in the spring so every day in the winter after school it'd be Taco Bell and then browse around Media Play (rest in peace, you glorious musical empire). Then, as seniors, when we thought we were bad-asses and could leave school to get lunch, we went to Taco Bell and hope not to get caught by the train.

We were together when we were driving to one of the local diners in our neighborhood one weekend afternoon when we saw the signs of a new value menu featured at Taco Bell. Mission aborted and three minutes later we were ordering everything on the new Value Menu.

When they demolished the old Taco Bell to build the new one, I asked if I could take their "No Smoking" sign. They said yes and five years later, I still have it in my bedroom.

I have received on more than one occasion money with sauce packets taped onto the bill because Taco Bell does not have gift cards.

I know the location of every Taco Bell within 15 minutes of my house and, like people who scope out the lowest gas prices, I know which restaurants have the lowest prices.

So you hopefully will not be surprised when I say today that I hit another highlight of my Taco Bell career. Actually, it started two nights ago as I was hanging out with some of my sisters and our favorite fraternity brothers. One of them is hungry and leaves. He returns with a Taco Bell box. Not just any regular box, but a Big Bell Box, something I have never seen. A Club Chalupa, burrito, taco, cinnamon twists and a drink for five dollars. Holy mother of God.

It's quite possibly the best thing that has ever hit Taco Bell. It takes us back to days when fast food was fast, cheap and horrible for you (translation: so much better). Remember when fast food had trans fat and no one knew what the hell that was? (Side note: I can't wait until we find out in like ten years that we actually do need a little trans fat in our diets, like we do pretty much everything.) Remember when we could get ten dollars worth of fast food and it fed a family of four? Or the best thing...remember when going to the drive thru did not take three minutes of inane conversation and repeating your order nine times only to have them forget something and/or completely screw up your order? The Big Bell Box returns us to simpler times, a box of food for a cheap price. And if they do happen to screw it up, chances are it'll be in your favor. Maybe some extra cinnamon twists or something. Delicious.