Pet Peeve - Attendance Policies in College

Here's what's amazing. When I was in middle school, I was told to do this, take these classes, act this way so I'd do good in high school. I get to high school and they were like "In college they do this, this and this. Take these classes. Take four years of a foreign language. blablabla." So I did. I graduated ninth overall in my class of over 250 (not bad, but also I did my best to avoid AP classes and anything overly difficult. Oops.). I get to college and they told me everyone is really smart and really competitive and it's cutthroat to get to the top. After four years, all I have to say is maybe I went to the wrong college or am in the wrong degree program. But before I get into that, I remember what teachers would say. "In college, they curve everything. The highest grade is always 100%, even if they got half of them wrong." Nope.

Or my favorite "In college, they never take attendance. It was always your responsibility to go to class." Well I'm in college and that's false. I like how elementary education professors take attendance because "it's all group work and you need to be there everyday in order to get everything you need to get out of the class". Wrong. No I don't. They loosened it up. "Okay you can miss two classes a semester and then your grade goes down." Oh so now it affects my grade? I'm learning everything I possibly can, getting an A in your class but because I don't want to sit there and listen to your boring lecture, I get a lower grade? I've noticed it's the boring teachers who have this policy. The cool ones don't care. They're like "Yeah you got shit to do. It's okay. Just turn your stuff in and we're cool. You're learning." Apparently these people got involved in college instead of living in textbooks and understand that going to class isn't everything. I would rather have the student who missed a couple of classes and learned stuff as opposed to the student who comes to class and does nothing.

Woody Allen once said "80% of success is showing up." If professors are taking this to heart, then they're out of their damn minds. I'm sorry that your class sucks and you're upset that people stop showing up to your lectures the third week of September because you probably got stuck teaching something you're not passionate about so you read straight out of the book. Or maybe you're overly passionate and go off on tangents that make no relevant points outside of alternative fuel sources or public policy. It's not us, it's you. There are classes that are so engaging you don't need an attendance policy to get students to show up. They want to be there. They want to learn. Or maybe they want to learn but something's up with one of their school involvements. They need to leave. They got shit to do. Let them go. Don't make a fuss. Unless it's quiz/test day, in which the laziest of college students know you go and take that shit unless you came down with the bird flu.

That being said, I have become quite the slacker in college. Four years in, and I'm ready to peace out. I have other obligations, a couple jobs, pretty much anything but class I'm motivated and passionate about. Too bad I didn't graduate with a majority of my 'Class of 2004' peers. It's a shame I hate summer classes. I took two lit classes in summer 2006, got an A and a B-, obviously favored one over the other. I went to school Monday through Thursday from 11:30-2:30. The sun is shining and, while I got to sleep in, I was ready for a nap after every class. Unfortunately I went off to work after every class. It was horrible. I enjoy everything about college but the actual school aspect of it. Yes, I am a statistic. I engage in binge drinking, occasional cigarette smoking and the extremely rare "I thought this was hookah, shit, I'm dizzy". I also do community service projects, have two leadership roles in my campus' Greek community and hang out with my sorority sisters more than I do my own family. I love my sisters so much I said "I don't feel like graduating so I'm not." A sort of Van Wilder's sister, I only have six classes left and student teaching. Had I planned accordingly I could have spent this summer turning in resumes and substitute teaching my ass off. Instead I'm ordering business cards for Panhellenic sorority recruitment and trying to figure out how I'm going to work during the week with my child psych practicum.

Moral of the story: I got shit to do. And the soccer moms, who have children and waited twenty years to attend college, they have more important shit than I do. "But that's what the two free days are for, the emergencies." No. That's bullshit. That makes Moms leave their kids alone at home in October when they're sick because she may have something else crop up the week before Finals and doesn't want to get screwed out of a grade just for taking care of her family, ultimately a more important job. You get the girl who's leaving class every 15 minutes to vomit, not because she's dedicated, but because she missed two days earlier in the semester due to your class being a fucking joke and her friends that she rarely see wanted to go get lunch. Thank God she's in class now, because when she's not puking, she's breathing on everyone her delicious stomach virus. And that mom is leaving class to check on her kid and make sure his fever isn't too high. It makes people choose and rationalize absences. "I'm sick as fuck but I may be sicker later in the semester..." "This student org meeting is important but there may be a more important one next week..."

We're adults. We pay you to talk to us. It's our choice to go to college and listen. Get rid of your stupid policy.