History of Love (Or Maybe Just Dumb Relationships & Crushes) To Music

"Music is like a drug; when you hear it, you have a vision. And that vision can change over time or remain the same. You know, that first time you’re in love and you hear a love song and every time you think about it you have that vision of your special someone. And then two years later, after you broke up, you’re at the bar. And you hear that song and you go, 'Son of a bitch. I’ll have a Jaeger.'" - Lewis Black

I have a box in my big storage bin, called 'Relationships/Loves of Christmas Past'. I have crushed on and dated more guys than what is on this list. And I only kept actual relationship artifacts in the box. However, there are songs that come on and they just take me back to a different time. This is that playlist, with guys ranging anywhere from one date to two years. Other guys I may have dated longer didn't even get songs. They must not have been that important. Then again, some of these freaks aren't important either. I feel bad because, if I'm ever on a dance floor and these songs come on, I will immediately exit due to their connotations. I'm sure you have those songs too.

"I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" - Aerosmith
One Thursday every six weeks or so, I would put on my best glitter make up, my Tommy Girl perfume and my one American Eagle t-shirt I owned, then head over to the middle school. They were called activity nights because the gym was open for basketball and there were tables set up to buy tons of pop & candy. Along with the taste of blue Airheads, this song reminds me so much of those awkward early teenage years. My first real boyfriend and I danced to this song in eighth grade. He wore JNCO jeans and this Abercrombie shirt that I loved. We went to high school together for the first two years. He had spiky hair and even bigger jeans. I wonder what happened to him. I haven't seen him in years. No Facebook, no Myspace, he could be dead for all I know.

"Nothing Else Matters" - Metallica & "Hailie's Song" - Eminem
The first song I didn't really mind, because I had heard it before. He really liked it and we made out to it. We pretty much made out for a month nonstop and it was great. I never had that physical kind of...anything. Then he started to get really clingy. This is the song that I knew our relationship was over. I came over one day to make out for a few hours after soccer practice and he was like "Listen to this song. It makes me think of you." So the world feels like it's almost over but then I come back to you? To make out? And then I found 40 bucks at school one day. I bought a movie, a CD and a t-shirt (at Media Play, rest in peace). He got so upset that I didn't spend it on him, I was like 'DONE.' I hear either of the songs and shudder to this day.

"Somewhere Out There" - Our Lady Peace
It still brings tears to my eyes. I don't remember how or when we decided to make this our song, but Jake and I rocked out to this bad boy when it came out in 2002. It takes me back to days in his mom's red Saturn station wagon, making out by the elementary school or the industrial park and eating mass amounts of Taco Bell. This song always makes our way into iTunes playlists about each other. Only fond memories of us. And the only person I would ever dance to with this song. (Not that he would...especially now since, well, it's obvious.)

"When You Say Nothing At All" - Alison Krauss
I heard this song at one of my mother's cousin's weddings during the summer of 2002. Beautiful song. I was like "The next boyfriend I get, this is going to be our song." Lo and behold, the next guy is my boyfriend-fiancee-longtermrelationship-person. And we requested it everywhere. And I still love this song, even though I can't get the images of dancing with a man four inches shorter than me in regular shoes.

"Got Some Teeth" - Obie Trice
Our relationship, if you could call it that, lasted about a month, between Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day of 2005. I almost got arrested by running from the cops in the hotel, drank illegally in a college dorm, drove his drunk ass around town, among other things. I guess I felt like a grown up. He introduced me to Dane Cook as well as this song, which is your run-of-the-mill, too-stupid-to-be-offensive rap song. It's humorous and deserving of a listen. Too bad I can't get his whitest-of-the-white-boy voice out of my head singing it when it comes on.

"Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Baby" - Barry White & "Angel Eyes" - Jeff Healy Band
You know what's not cool? Making your boyfriend go to a wedding he didn't want to attend so you could get a new dress & make him dance with you. It doesn't matter how well he cleans up (God, yes, he looked good dressed up in a tie). I deserved having my dress fall down and expose my strapless bra with Barry White playing. I really deserved him breaking up with me, too, even though it took me all of 2006 to get over him and realize that I fucked up. It's what happens when you're used to being in a relationship: you try to make boyfriends that follow pick up where he left off, which pushes them into a territory they're not ready to be in. Fail. But one of my favorite moments of our relationship is dancing to 'Angel Eyes' and us smiling, kissing, laughing. For a dance, it felt like that was it. Then he suggested we go on a break a month later after Thanksgiving dinner. Then he broke it off two days before Christmas. He's happy now, according to Facebook photos, with his girlfriend of over a year. I, on the other hand, have been single since him (Almost three years single!) which is probably why 'Angel Eyes' hurts more than any song on this list. I stopped crying, but there's still a sadness I feel when it shows up on my iTunes and I listen to the first 15 seconds before I have to change it to 'Salt Shaker' or something equally as uplifting.

"Far Away" - Nickelback
I have attended five semi formals and two formals in the two years I have been in a sorority. My first fraternity semi still reigns as my favorite one. It was also the only where I actually slow danced with my date, high school style, which I didn't even know still existed. We didn't look at each other or anything, which is fine, because I was too busy looking at everyone else. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even remember. Later, someone else would have sex on our bed in the hotel room. I still slept in that bed. Ugh. We never amounted to anything and he dated not one but two of my sorority sisters. Oh well. He got a song out of it.

"The Way You Look Tonight" - Frank Sinatra
Formal 2007. I went tanning for months after I bought a sexy orange halter dress. I was determined to look good. And I did.



Yes, I am wearing a top hat (one of the guys'), as well as my place card in my dress, in case anyone in my sorority forgot my name. If anyone was forgetting names, though, it was me. Me plus a liter of Absolut equals not passing out but to this day my sisters don't say much about me at formal. They just shake their head. Never have I been nor will I ever be that drunk again. I do remember dancing to this song (if you consider dancing to be screaming the lyrics and being spun around) with my fabulous date who I knew we had no chance of ever being something. But he's 6'7" & hot and that was amazing. I don't think I've talked to him since, but I have this song to remember him by.