Christmas Shopping Part One

I enjoy Christmas shopping. By myself. At 2 in the afternoon during the week. I'd rather get up at 6am and garden than going to the mall on a weekend in December. (Getting up at 6 am. Gardening. Two stupid ideas, by the way.) Today I sold back one of my books to the bookstore for half of what I paid. Let's be honest. I'm not going to sell it on eBay and make more of a profit. I don't have the time nor the patience. And knowing me, someone will bid on my book, win it and I forget to send it. Or I lose it. And hi, there's a listing fee. And shipping. It's not worth the hassle for an extra 5 or ten bucks. I don't take classes that require 300 dollar textbooks, thank God, or else it'd make sense.

Anyway I took my 72.75 and went Christmas shopping. With the economy down, I may not be going all out but I think a 40 dollar limit for the fam and Dave is legit, and a 20-30 for some of my closer friends/sisters. Usually my bro and dad are really easy to shop for because they say 'Hey I want this. Get that for me and that's it.' I don't stray from the norm because I know they'll hate it. My dad wants a subscription to The Hockey News because my dad doesn't read books. He read The Hockey News, Entertainment Weekly, Consumer Reports and the newspaper, in that order of importance. Ten dollars more than my limit but he's so fucking worth it. Such a badass.

I don't know what's up with my brother. I thought I folded under pressure, shit. First of all, I don't know why Matt insists on looking homeless. I saw him today for a brief moment and I don't think he has shaved or brushed his hair since I saw him on Thanksgiving. Second of all, he's got a big people job at my school as well as working towards his Masters. Lucky son of a bitch. I think he's stressed out right now, poor guy. But yeah, asking him what he wants for Christmas, he says 'More love.' I say 'Something with a price tag.' I don't like to get into philosophical discussions. You can tell that my parents, much more notably my mother, have issues with loving their children in a way that doesn't suck. However, I'm pretty sure if I gave him a hug for Christmas, he'd be pretty pissed. If I got him something he didn't like, he'd be just as pissed. So that in turn, makes me pissed.

And then there's Dave. God bless him, he works to pay for his car and that's it. His parents provide for everything else. Living rent-free, food, shit even his cell phone. So he has everything he wants. He's like 'Get me some cologne. Or gift cards.' I dislike giving people gift cards. It goes 'Hey I put thought into your gift by going to a store and giving you money you can only spend at that store.' They are useful and I do enjoy receiving them, don't get me wrong. And if it comes down to the wire, yeah I'll buy one. I just like to exhaust all other options first.

I went to the mall and did some window shopping for myself as well. The sales are making me foam at the mouth, wishing I could spend money on myself. The markdowns are pheNOMinal! But I did, actually. I bought a new fur trapper hat because I lost mine from last year. Regardless, I went to Perfumania hoping to find something that didn't smell like My New Haircut. Nope. Cologne fail.

Side note: if you have NOT seen My New Haircut, because it has come to my attention people have not...get off your ass. And if you have...it's always time to watch it. It's so good. And if you don't like it....fucking skanks.

I stopped at Auntie Anne's because, if there's one thing I love, it's pretzels. Soft pretzels, hard pretzels, sourdough pretzels, pretzel stix....so fucking good. I also figured it's been a while since I paid almost three dollars for a pretzel so what the hell? I got the cinnamon sugar pretzel, a deliciously orgasmic treat which I am convinced should be renamed The Pretzel Diabeetus. (Speaking of diabeetus, Wilford Brimley is the shit.) It snowed cinnamon sugar all over the damn food court. I was pissed that more of it wasn't in my mouth. (Definitely what she said.)

I will record more of my shopping excursions when I get more cash money.