Love Proclamation for Mountain Dew and Obama or Hate Proclamation for 'Mtn Dew' and Obamamania

Even if I stopped eating fast food, worked out more than twice a week for one-two hours (that's almost four hours a week, so that's good, right?) and ate three square meals a day, I still would not lose the weight I wanted.

Side note: I actually had an idea for the best appetite suppressant. You know those little animal things you put in the water for a few days and they expand to be like massive sponges shaped like dolphins or cool mermaids you can put in a fish tank? That but shaped like a stomach. Or something that would fill your stomach so you wouldn't be hungry. And it would chill in there for a while but then the acid in your stomach would eat away at it and you would digest it as normal. Good idea? I thought so. (Another one of the many reasons why I didn't go into anything science related.)

But yeah. Why am I still busting at the seams? (No pun intended, if you thought bust referred to my tatas.) Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. If I could, I would have a CO2 tank and dispense it from the fountain in my kitchen. I drink it constantly. And don't tell me to drink Diet Mountain Dew. "It tastes the same!" False. False. More false. I can taste the artificial sweetener and the Yellow 5 instead of the delectable nectar that is Mountain Dew.

I LOVE YOU.

However.

This past Christmas season I saw new logos for Pepsi products. At first I was confused, but thought 'Oh they're probably just making cool Holiday logos.' No. It's still here. And it's abbreviated.

MTN Dew? Say it outloud. You can't. No vowels. Sounds like you're recovering from a stroke or you have a lot of marshmallows in your mouth. And I will NOT spell it out, either. M-T-N Dew? How about F-U? That works too. Change it back, PepsiCo. Skip the marketing scheme for the 'young folks'. Don't try to be 'extreme' or cool because it's not working. It's just making me mad.

One thing's for sure...we certainly have come a long way from mountains on the can.


Side note: While writing this blog, I polished off two 20-oz bottles of the Dew.

Okay, so now onto more important things. Like Barack Obama. I voted for Obama. You knew that if you a) knew anything about me or b) read any posts surrounding Election Day. I am very happy he won, he's our president, he's (hopefully) going to do something, Vote for Change, yes we can, blablabla, w00t. But our country has gone out of control with Obamamania. Every gas station and fashion boutique has screen printed Obama shirts with quality ranging from borderline okay to basement-computer-printed-transfer-quality crap. I have seen designs from pictures of the First Family (so cute, by the way) to 'You bet your mama, I'm voting Obama' to 'MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!' Hey, you know what? Who cares? It is a historical event, considering how the country's gone through so many stages of racism and injustice against people not fitting of the WASP dynasty in social hierarchy. I didn't vote for him because he was black. Just like I didn't vote for Kerry in 2004 because he was white. I voted for his policies, which I'm pretty sure half of the voters had no idea of the candidate's ideas. They were just 'Oh, he's black.'

This happened in 2003 at my high school for Homecoming King and Queen. The court for each was four white students and one black. Not that they really had any viewpoints on life or changing the world. It was a popularity contest. And, because the 'white' vote was split between four, the black guy and girl won. It didn't piss me off that they won because they were black. It pissed me off that they didn't really do a whole lot outside of athletics, whereas the others did a bleep ton on National Honor Society, Yearbook, Student Council, etc. They voted for the jocks and that was kinda lame.

But yeah, back to Obamamania. Stop it. That's enough. No more bedazzled hats with his face on it. No more random bursts of 'At Last'. (Because did your love really come along? Your lonely days are over? Life is like a song [in this economy]? Really?) No more Yahoo! news articles of what he's doing today. (DID HE HAVE A TURKEY OR HAM SANDWICH FOR LUNCH?! OMGZ YAHOO SUUURCH!) It's his first day in school. Let him do something first.