Illness

I love going to class and spending the first fifteen minutes listening to my classmates freak the fuck out about everything.

My body finally succumbed to the cold thing that my team, classmates, sorority, coworkers and the children that cough & sneeze all over me has been passing around. I'm not weak or anything. But this morning I walked downstairs and my mom went "Are you all right? You look like shit!" It's karma really coming back to hit me, because when anyone's sick, I run around with a Lysol can and face mask, like it's the Bird Flu (ughhhh Bird Flu).

If you are sick, I definitely suggest getting some Ricola mini natural herb cough drops. They are delicious cough drops. It's not like
One of the reasons I'm sicker than I would have been was because of the joint birthday celebration on Saturday. Myself and two other sisters celebrated our birthdays. I had two grande margaritas, four Long Islands and five shots, varying from Red-Headed Sluts (I don't care much for the name but it tastes okay) to Patron (thanks, Dave!). I didn't get sick but I think I blacked out because I don't remember anything between smoking a cigarette and talking to Dave's parents when I got back to his house. Oops.

So now the holiday season is officially over for me. And once again, no surprises, no curve balls thrown in. I know it sounds stupid to complain about it, but there's really nothing I would love more than a surprise birthday party. Of course, me coming out and saying it defeats the purpose. It's just heartbreaking to me, I guess. There's a reason why.

Flashback to February 2005, four years ago. I had broken things off with Scott that October. I was in my second semester at college and did not do much socializing outside of my high school friends who stayed home and went to commuter colleges like me. I was not happy but terrified of being alone so I tried to keep things going between us after we were broken up. I forgot exactly what had happened but I remember being very upset with him. I had not planned anything for my 19th birthday that year, in hopes that him or at least one of my friends would have come up with something. I wrongfully took it out on him, because we were not together anymore, but we were still friends (you know, that 'friend' neighborhood that I am convinced does not exist). It was all of my friends' faults. Like I've said, except for Emily, I'm not really friends with them anymore. I got a random message from one of them for my birthday and chose not to respond. They were all so self-centered and never really cared about me. Since then I've gone out of my way to make sure I have a great birthday. I've also gotten a lot better at my friend selection. I have lifelong sisters and others who genuinely care about me. As a carryover from pre-2005, like Emily, though, never again do I rely on others to plan something for me, because I was so upset for my 19th. And my birthdays since then have all been amazing. Legendary.

But maybe...just once for something, something will happen in my life, birthday or not, out of the ordinary. I love routines and a planned schedule. I could really go for an adventure. I'm overdue.

When I get better, of course. Until then, I'm sucking down vitamins and juice and Nyquil before bed.