Pet Peeve - Squeaky Shoes

Holy mother of God, have you watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? The entire series is on hulu.com. When you're finished reading my blog for today, watch it. Sit down and watch the whole damn thing. It's my new obsession.

Much better than friggin' Twilight which is plaguing my sorority. 500 pages of hot vampires and a movie coming out in the winter starring a guy from Harry Potter? Apparently Interview With the Vampire wasn't enough but then we were between the ages of five and eight in 1994.

Anyway today was just like any other day. I woke up 20 minutes before my shift for work and surprisingly made it there only five minutes late. I forgot something, like I always do. Today it was forgetting to wear an undershirt and to my own dismay I wore a purple shirt so, by 1:30, I had massive backsweat. Sick shit.

What's even sicker is the biggest crime to humanity I discovered today at work. Family of eight walks in. Four adults, four kids. Two boys, two girls. The girls are the oldest and the baby at walking age. So the older girl is leading the baby around the restaurant. It's annoying enough to have kids walking around when I'm trying to take shit to my tables. It's even more annoying that, for some reason, this girl's parents thought that it would be cool if they outfit their daughter in a pair of shoes that had actual squeakies on the bottom.

I'm not joking, this bundle of annoyance walked around for thirty five fucking minutes squeak, squeak, squeak. All over the restaurant. Loud squeaking. Like a dog had a slobbery squeak toy in his mouth and, instead of grabbing it and hiding it like a dog owner does, they left it in. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeakWHATTHEFUCK. It took a lot of self-restraint to not tell that girl to pick up her younger sister and sit the fuck down. Or yell at her parents for letting their children roam around the restaurant while they sit on their asses and sip on Diet Cokes with lemon.

I tried to come up with a logical reason for ever buying shoes that squeak. And while "Hey every time she hears the squeak, she'll want to stomp her feet and walk" sounds logical, my coworkers and I decided that her folks wanted to start her out on clown training really early and piss off everyone in the process.