Sixteen Years of Ruining My Life

I just downloaded a bunch of Barry Manilow. And the answer to your question is yes, I do plan on making a Barry Manilow-exclusive CD for my car. Because everyone wants to listen to Barry on the way to getting shitty wasted. (And once I find the clip of myself & my sisters singing 'Close to You' by the Carpenters on my 21st birthday, I will prove it to you.) I also use it to my carpooling advantage as well.
"Who wants to drive?"
"I do! I have Barry Manilow!"
(pause)
"Anyone else want to drive?"
Ha ha, suckers.

My sister, a.k.a. Bangs, turned 16 on Tuesday. We went to Mongolian BBQ. Side note: I highly doubt the Mongolians have gongs near their grills. And caramel sundaes in a mug. Just figured I'd point that out. Anyway, the first thing she says is 'What did you get me?' Nothing. Why? My siblings and I don't get each other things for our birthday. We're all about Christmas, in which case I can expect a sweet set of TV on DVD or a couple movies. The last time I bought something for my sister was two years ago, her first semester in high school as a combination birthday/welcome-to-high-school gift, when I got her a gift card to American Eagle. Within a week she got her purse stolen, gift card in the purse. Kinda what happens when you leave your purse unattended on a bench in the locker room during gym class.

Anyway, while she's saying this, she whips out her new cell phone. New cell phone. NEW FUCKING CELL PHONE. She has about three Virgin mobile phones chilling in her desk that she used with the introductory minutes and then, because she doesn't have anything close to resembling a job (doesn't babysit, mow lawns, sell lemonade, etc), doesn't recharge the minutes. Well. My parents got her a Metro PCS phone, 40 bucks unlimited everything. And they're paying for it. The same parents who can't afford to make an extra plate of dinner for me are now paying for the downfall of civilization i.e. giving my sister unlimited texting for the rest of her life. Adding insult to injury, she's like "Yeah it cost 200 bucks." The last thing my parents flat out bought me that was 200+ bucks was my varsity jacket, ironically, my 16th birthday gift almost seven years ago. So she got her nose pierced in August AND got a new cell phone AND got a sweet 16 birthday party in our basement. Fuck that.

My brother always loves to point out how happy I was on September 23, 1992 when my dad sat us down after school and told us it was a girl. My brother cried, I was excited. Oh silly stupid six and a half year old Ruth. If only you knew what you wished for. Matt got a brand new bedroom and bedroom set all to himself. Bangs and I got shoved on the second floor of the bungalow with the 1940s bedroom set we just got rid of last year. Matt has the distinction of being the only son. I'm just the older daughter, middle child, blablabla. I almost skipped a grade but my mom being pregnant sent me into an emotional tailspin in first grade. I've had to share everything since then and it pisses me off.

Now we have a much better understanding, the occasional spat. The language is impeccable. I'm teaching her to fight on my level by calling her a vag, my new insult this week. She still cries every once in a while but we're getting better. I wouldn't say she's ruined my life, a harsh term...but things could have gone better post-kindergarten for me. They still can. In some ways, they are. It's weird to think about how I remember when she was born and seeing the lizard infant, then realizing it's the same person now. I guess that's what's really messed up. And in my stupid way, I guess that makes me have to care about her in my subconscious. I may call her Bangs, Fattie, Vag, Bangs the Fattie Vag, but she's MY Bangs the Fattie Vag. If that makes sense.
...
Damn it, I wish I wasn't so awkward with emotion.