STILL HERE FOREVZ.

I went outside today. And by outside I mean I drove home with my moon roof open, then sat outside on the back porch for an hour. Damn it, I'm trying. But the outside has a lot of undesirables, like bugs. And grass. And trees. And weeds (the last three things I'm allergic to, while bugs are just super nast).

I also realized how happy I am to NOT be living with my folks anymore. I called them today. Bangs picked up with her usual 'Hello' that sounds like 'Hello YOUR totallie inaruptin mah txtin'.
'Hey can you tell Dad to meet me at DFCU to do insurance?'
'Ughhhh HOLD ON.' (in the background, in similar but much louder attitude) 'HEY! RUTH SAID (incoherent yelling at my dad)'
(incoherent yelling by Mom to get Dad's attention)
(incoherent yelling even louder by Bangs to Dad)
(incoherent yelling by Dad to Bangs)
'DAD SAID MOM DROPPED STUFF OFF IN YOUR MAILBOX AND IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT TOO BAD CHECK ONLINE. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO.'
...'Okay. Thanks.'
'Bye.' (click)

Then I remembered why my blood pressure was always hovering around heart attack level. And even hitting the end button, I feel anxious like I was sitting in the basement watching TiVoed VH1 shows, hiding from everyone.

By contrast, Dave woke up this morning at the same time I did. I was getting ready and I come out to the sound of coffee brewing and eggs cooking.
'What are you doing up?'
'I wanted to make you breakfast. And coffee. Want anything on your English muffin?'

Good decision.

I didn't get the job with Nationals. I was upset, understandably, because all I want to do is move on with my life and get the eff out of Michigan's shit economy. And working for my sorority that I love and adore would have been fanfreakingtastic, putting all of my skills to good use. I got a letter saying 'You had a lot of wonderful things, but these two candidates were unmatched' blablabla. Come to find out, they blew my ass right out of the boat. Chapter advisors who already live in Pennsylvania? One having a Master's in Higher Ed and prior working experience with HQ? Shoot! I should have been happy to even have been considered. How crazy! Oh well. Here I am.

At Rachel's wedding a couple weeks ago, after the priest (he wasn't a priest, but I'm Catholic, close-minded and an idiot and can't think of the other word for it, preacher? Shoot, anyway,) announced 'You may kiss the bride', everyone applauds and, perfect timing 'Signed, Sealed, Delivered' comes on. I immediately look around at the speakers and everyone else. No one else is phased by this? I yell out 'Am I in a romantic comedy?!' Everyone who knows me laughs. I'm sure everyone else ignored me. I'd ignore me too.

Life On My Own

Living with Dave is not nearly as awful as I had originally expected. We're both gone a lot so we're not sitting underneath each other all day.

Huge benefits of living not with parents -
1) I have my own room, which essentially has everything in it but a bed. (Still at my folks' house...I'll get around to moving it plus other unnecessary things I still have there.) But I've never had my own room. I shared with my brother until I was about eight or nine. Then by that times Bangs was about three so she moved in and my bro got his own room. So now I keep my messiness contained in the back bedroom, a shrine to my plaid-shorts-and-flip-flop-wardrobe.

2) I live about four blocks away from a 7-11. And they always have Mountain Dew Slurpee on tap.

3) Dave's TV is hooked up to a ridiculous surround sound system with a plug for laptops. When no one's home, I have a fist-pump dance party in the living room.

4) Did I mention I don't have to pay rent??!?! Dave and I just need to live in it and keep up the house. We just split utilities and groceries.

5) I get to live with the man I love. Awww GAY. No, he's a great roommate. The day it all went down he was very comforting and told me how, even though it wasn't in our plans, we were going to make the best of it. And we're both in the mindset that, when no one's coming over, the house doesn't need to be spotless. I'm sitting next to an open bag of chips. The old toaster oven is sitting on the kitchen table. And the basement is a SEA of clothing. Who gives a crap?

6) I'm under a lot less stress. I spend time reading and enjoying life, instead of hiding from my family because they're about to go ape shit about my shampoo not being on the shelf in the tub.

7) I'm about four minutes from work at the restaurant. That means longer naps before work.

8) I was buying my own food LONG before I moved out so that was not a big issue.

9) Women walk their dogs ALONE AT NIGHT. I haven't seen that in Redford since 1996!

Drawbacks of living on my own -
1) If I sub in Redford, which I do more often than not, it's a 15 minutes drive instead of 2 like before.

2) I'm still somewhat upset at my mother. I mean it's worked out. But the way it went down was awful, screaming, crying, empty threats and finally 'You know...it's time for you to find another place to live'. But she hugged me about three times in an hour at my brother's graduation Sunday. She feels guilty, as she should. (Yes I know Mother's Day is this Sunday, don't give me that look, I got her something.)

3) Often times I wake up in the middle of the night with Dave touching a nip. (I sleep fully clothed in layers, mind you.) He should know better than to interrupt my sleep.

4) I went from a queen size bed all to myself to a queen size split with a 5'8" starfish who sleeps with three pillows and is about 30 degrees hotter than the average human.

5) The Dearborn Public Libraries are not on the Wayne County network so I have to go with Dave (or, like last week, one of his parents) to check out books. Apparently a paystub or student ID is not enough to verify working or going to school in Dearborn. I need to have something printed on letterhead. Or pay 80 dollars a year. I'm sorry, when did public libraries become yacht clubs?

I GOT KICKED OUT. (back dated)

If my parents kicking me out had turned into an Intervention episode:

-----

Ruth, we love you. But your lack of organizational skills have affected you in the following ways:
Piles of your clothes are near the washer.
Piles of your clothes are in your bedroom.
You leave dirty dishes in the basement.
You leave hair in the tub.

Therefore we feel like you do not respect us. You say you are depressed. We are too. We're depressed that our house looks so crappy because you do not like to keep things clean. You have never had your room cleaned for more than a week in the 24 years you have been here, but because you have graduated college we finally can kick you out.

So what if you only make about 500 dollars a month? So what if you are applying to jobs? The economy sucks? Make it work.

Today is your lucky day. Take the help we are forcing on you and move to Dave's house. You already sleep over there a lot anyway. You can make arrangements to move there against his and your wishes. Will you accept the help that is given to you today?

-----

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. The day I was forced to move to Lincoln. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

Alive Without a Life

Life after college is boring. Hence why I haven't updated since November. I'd put you to sleep, if I haven't already.

I work, go on Facebook (FarmVille has sucked me in), download a lot of electronic music (my interest has increased ten fold...Simian Mobile Disco? Duck Sauce? Cut Copy? HOLY SHIT), make a lot of money (living the food service dream), save some, spend the rest of the money on self-tanner, used books and binges at Target and read those used books.

My dad comes home and the first thing he asks me is my work schedule, if I'm working today, where, what time, what about tomorrow or, like today 'You're home??? WHY?!' Because a day off is nice? Jesus. If he could be my dad but a hundred years ago, my family would have done something extraordinary and we'd be rich and I wouldn't have to deal with this shit. That's how every big bidness got started, with someone going 'Let's work all day every day now that we're in America, the land of opportunity'. If someone would have done this, I would have been old money, not working class. Thanks, ancestors.

I applied to be an admissions counselor at UMD. I've applied to charter schools looking for positions right meow but, in reality, who wants to start teaching in the middle of the week in the middle of the year? That's like asking for a stress-induced heart attack. I've sent resumes to Catholic schools. I've started some apps for public schools (you know, those big institutions with the greedy bitches who have those ridiculous pensions and need to stop complaining because they get two months off and they're 'just teachers'?...). Not like they're going to be hiring for anything unless you're special ed certified or want to teach a class with 40 screaming second graders. I also sent my resume in for a job at DPhiE nationals. My motto? Apply for anything and everything. Something will come up.

Dave and I are doing fine. He moved into his grandma's house but still hangs out at his parents' at least twice a week. (He's an Italian mama's boy and they have TiVo, an 'unnecessary expense', so I knew this was going to happen.)

More updates soon. Might as well.

Renaissance of Ruth!

It could be mania. It could be boredom. It could be the fact that, for the first time since eighth grade I actually have time to do something for myself that is not counted for a grade. But folks, I am devouring books like none other. I'm working out and reading, sitting up and reading, eating and reading, falling asleep while reading. Sonofabitch what is wrong with me? All I want to do is read! I seriously have about 12 books checked out from the library where I am doing my student teaching (it's all on the same network so I didn't have to get a new card SCORE). I live there, sometimes I'll eat dinner at a restaurant nearby and come back. Maybe I don't want to go home (that's a yes, because who wants to hear Bangs screech on about a guy named Justin or 'OMG I cannot believe they said that I'm soooo gonna beat her assssss'?) Either way I am living at this library. Hooray for books!

I am so ready to have my own class now. Like right now. Like yesterday right now. I'm reading to spread my wings and fly into a highly underpaid and underappreciated career so, damn it, LET ME SOAR.

It is November. What is Ruth thankful for?
- Dave <3
- Delta Phi Epsilon and the lovely sisters it brings <3
- My lovely first graders <3 k no more hearts.
- My dad. Because he makes the money and lets me live at home.
- My brother. Because he's awesome.
- The rest of my family, I guess...even Bangs. Because we traded wallets and now I have a purple one and it's AWESOME. I'm just waiting for the givesies-backsies and I'm gonna be like NO GIVESIES-BACKSIES!
- Having a college education and graduating in 41 days!
- My car, even though it decided to take a dump a mile away from work yesterday. Thankfully it was the alternator so it wasn't something that was overly expensive or hard to fix (150 dollars and 24 hours later I was back on the road).
- Living at home because, shit, son, I am milking that for all it is worth.