I GOT KICKED OUT. (back dated)

If my parents kicking me out had turned into an Intervention episode:

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Ruth, we love you. But your lack of organizational skills have affected you in the following ways:
Piles of your clothes are near the washer.
Piles of your clothes are in your bedroom.
You leave dirty dishes in the basement.
You leave hair in the tub.

Therefore we feel like you do not respect us. You say you are depressed. We are too. We're depressed that our house looks so crappy because you do not like to keep things clean. You have never had your room cleaned for more than a week in the 24 years you have been here, but because you have graduated college we finally can kick you out.

So what if you only make about 500 dollars a month? So what if you are applying to jobs? The economy sucks? Make it work.

Today is your lucky day. Take the help we are forcing on you and move to Dave's house. You already sleep over there a lot anyway. You can make arrangements to move there against his and your wishes. Will you accept the help that is given to you today?

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Today is the first day of the rest of my life. The day I was forced to move to Lincoln. Thanks, Mom and Dad.